#8

Read about bulimia stories of recovery in this book. It follows one woman’s battle with eating disorders and how she won the fight.
"Learning to Be Me"takes the reader on a journey through the life of an individual struggling with an extreme case of Bulimia.  Lasting almost a quarter of a century, Jocelyn Golden recounts in detail the countless ups and downs, frustrations and joys, destruction and love that was a part of her life and mirrors the lives of so many millions of people today.
She begins with a thorough narration of her childhood filled with adult duties, a dysfunctional family and the feeling of being invisible. What transpires is the many years of diets she goes on to counter the weight she’s gained from trying to deal with her family. Not only self-induced diets, but expensive programs paid for by her mother in an attempt to shed those “filthy” pounds.

It’s inevitable, then, that Jocelyn develops a distorted view of food, body image and exercise. She went through restricting, more dieting, binging, purging, taking laxatives and over-exercising again and again, trading one for the other many times over the course of those 23 years. Nothing could stop her from behaving that way and no one supported her when it was clear she needed help.
What struck me the most about this book was the detail for which the author goes. She digs so deeply into her experience that it can be shocking, even to someone like myself, who has been through a similar experience. The writing is honest, courageous and full of the emotion she has carried with her over the years.
Many parts may be triggering for those suffering or in their early stages of recovery, as Jocelyn gets in-depth about her Bulimic behaviour. But for those who have recovered or are trying to understand the disease, it will open your eyes to the emotions, fears and anxieties that someone goes through in their quest to be thin, which is a quest about so much more than size.

The end of the book includes an essay by the author’s husband who has been by her side for the last few years and was involved in her recovery. It’s a poignant account of the struggle that he went through in trying to help his wife learn to be herself.

This is a heart-wrenching and unique story that goes deep inside the mind of a bulimic. Jocelyn now uses her experience to educate and support other sufferers from her home in Pennsylvania.